And now all of these things make me so sad. i loved my friends but things have changed now and i don't trust any of them (except Chris, but i met him in 2004). England and France were the best places i have ever been to and i am going to live in England one day, but waiting is the worst feeling ever. it was like i got a taste and now i have to wait forever, though that taste was the most amazing 10 days of my life. and when i got back i asked Brittany to prom and she said yes by kissing me. it was like a scene out of a movie and it was so amazing, but now we don't talk and i am petrified to know what she thinks of me (like i said, i fucked that up royally). my band has broken up and i have barely touched my bass in the last two years, though i am writing a lot more lyrics so i guess that's an upside. That year, i guess, was just too good to last. everything was falling into place and then it shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. i want things to go back to the way they were but i know that is impossible. how can you hang out with someone when you don't treat each other like you used to? i know this sounds pathetic and that is because it is, but i am sick of longing for a year that passed 3 years ago. i want new things to emerge but it seems i am stuck in the same old rut. i have hope, but i am tired of waiting....
Currently Listening to: A Weekend In the City by Bloc Party (specifically "I Still Remember")
